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Rules of manhood? men take into account women do you agree, but remember that this is intended to be funny or not? 1. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party attendees. 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 3. It's okay for a man to mourn in the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. , After crashing his car chief. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game. e. When the date is using her teeth 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you rescue a friend from jail within 12 hours. 5. acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move a. His legs have been cut in a freak threshing accident in June. acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move a. You'd rather stay home and watch replays of defective rate. 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy whos running late is 5 minutes. The maximum waiting time of six minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness that scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a bar Mates is prohibited. Influenza at will if the temperature is not adequate. 10. No man is obliged to buy a birthday present for another man (in fact, even remembering your birthday is strictly optional Mates). 11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 12. While your girlfriend must bond with your Mates girlfriends within 30 minutes of his performance, it is necessary to make peace with your gal pals major dick heads low ---- UD is all that the law requires ( sorry guys, its called double standards and called us the short straw in one). 13. When faced with other guys watching a sporting event, you can always ask the score of the game in progress, but you will never ask whos playing. 14. You can flatulate front of a woman only after you have brought to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 15. Quaff a fruity drink is permitted sunbathing girl only when youre on a tropical beach .... and delivered by a topless supermodel ... and is free. 16. Only in situations of Moral and / or danger *** is allowed to kick another man in the nuts. 17. Unless youre in jail ever, the fight naked. 18. Friends do not let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 19. If a mans zipper is down, that's his problem --- you did not see anything. 20. Women who claim they like to watch sports should be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and have the ability to drink beer as much as the other sports watchers. 21. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 22. A man in the company of a hot woman, suggestively dressed must remain sober enough to fight. 23. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. This only means. 24. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 25. Never join your girlfriend or wife in a lack of respect for a colleague, unless she is withholding sex pending your response. 26. Phrases that can not be uttered to another man while lifting weights a. Yeah, baby, Push it! b. Cmon, give me one more! Stronger! c. Another set and we can hit the showers! d. Nice ****, you're a Sagittarius? 27. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on an equal footing both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other cases, an almost imperceptible gesture is all the conversation you need. 28. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than they are capable of having sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone, Hang up if necessary. 29. You can not tell on a coworker who appears in the work with a huge hangover. However, you can hide the aspirin, smear his chair with Limburg cheese, turn the brightness all the way through what he thinks his monitor is broken, and you have paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes. 30. The morning after you and a child who was once just a friend mono carnal drunken sex, the fact that your feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to drive again before the discussion about what a big mistake era.
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